


Somebunny loves you.

by Anonymous



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Danny Mahealani & Stiles Stilinski Friendship, Established Derek Hale/Scott McCall, Misunderstandings, Multi, Oblivious Stiles, Polyamory, Werebunny Stiles, stiles is not from beacon hills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-07-28
Packaged: 2018-12-08 05:34:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11639973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: [text to: Danny] Would it still be homewrecking if I slept with both of them? Simultaneously?[Danny] Delete my number.***McHaleinski fic with werebunny!Stiles that nobody asked for.





	Somebunny loves you.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I don't write fics. So please be warned that this is not really a good fic.  
> 2\. However, one night as I was getting ready for bed I thought "damn, there's no werebunny Stiles McHaleinski fic!" And then my brain kept me awake until 4 a.m. until it recited the whole fic to me. What a dick.  
> 3\. So I figured I had to write that down. Except it took me 2 weeks to get to it and then another 2 to edit. So it's probably not as good as my brain told me. Also, the fact that Stiles is a werebunny is not the main focus of this fic. It's just... there.  
> 4\. This is the moment when you should lower your fanfic standards.  
> 5\. All mistakes are mine because obviously I wouldn't let another soul read it 'cause then they'd know I'm the author.  
> 6\. No, for real, lower them.
> 
>  
> 
> _This work is intended for the private enjoyment of the reader. I do not give permission to this work being read aloud and/or shared with the press, or anyone working on said production of Teen Wolf, including but not limited to cast, crew, writers, or producers. I also do not give permission share this work on third-party websites such as Goodreads, which I believe is a resource intended for published works outside of fandom._

It’s the middle of May when two werewolves move in the empty house next to Stiles.

Which makes him promptly freak out.

It’s not that he wasn’t aware that supernatural creatures exist – he is one – or that he didn’t know there are some when he moved to Beacon Hills – he works with a hellhound, werefox, banshee and his best friend is a witch. It’s not even the fact that they are werewolves, Stiles knew about these too.

The local werewolf clan – the Hales – lives all the way across the town, near the woods. And no matter how much Stiles loves the nature, the woods are a place he avoids since it’s Hale territory.

So to satisfy his need for greenery Stiles got himself a nice cosy house far away from woods but near a nice stretch of grove where he could go on his little escapades or build his burrow… Because Stiles? Is a werebunny.

And that’s why he is freaking out over his new neighbors. He is not prejudiced against were-predators. He’d dated a werecoyote back in high school but back then they were both coming into their powers and did Stiles mention they dated? There were definitely nice and pleasant mutual feelings involved and Stiles never feared that Malia might munch on him during full moon.

But Stiles doesn’t know much about were _wolves_ besides the fact that the Hales are well respected in Beacon Hills and that some 10 years ago a rogue alpha wreaked havoc in this peaceful town, running around and biting some unsuspecting people. And this? This is what Stiles fears. He can stand his guard just fine, he’s a cop after all, but he just doesn’t know how things are gonna pan out when he’s faced with an actual werewolf. Especially if it happens when Stiles is shifted.

So now all Stiles has to do is to make sure his new neighbors don’t have any reasons they might want to chew on him.  

Easy.

(Yeah, right.)

*******

Stiles decides to welcome his neighbors and work his charm two days after the moving trucks stop coming.

He bakes blueberry muffins and spends only 32 minutes psyching himself up before he finally gets out and goes knocking on his neighbors’ door.

Later he decides that no amount of psyching up could prepare him for the sight that greeted him when the door opened.

The guy who greets him has the most beautiful dark brown eyes Stiles has ever seen and the most adorable smile which – Stiles is fairly certain – causes flowers to bloom whenever it appears on the guy’s face.

Stiles is completely smitten 10 seconds into interaction. This is bad. This is real bad.

“Hi,” he says, feeling himself smile with ease, even though he was so stressed just a few seconds ago. “I’m Stiles, your neighbor. I thought I’d finally come over and introduce myself.”

“Hi,” the guy replies and his smile becomes even more welcoming. “I’m Scott, it’s so nice to meet you! And this,” he gestures behind himself at an approaching man. “Is Derek, my boyfriend.”

For a brief moment Stiles wonders if there is some law he isn’t aware of that says only hot people can be werewolves. The other guy is different than Scott – taller, paler, with way more facial hair and looking significantly less approachable, thick eyebrows pulled in frown – but equally hot and it is just _not fair_.

They all stand there for a few seconds just staring/blinking/smiling/frowning before Stiles shoves the container at Scott:

“I made muffins! For you guys! I mean…” he smiles awkwardly. “You know, just a welcoming gift.”

Derek’s eyebrows shoot up but he moves to grab the container out of Scott’s hands. The other man seems delighted:

“Muffins! How sweet is that!” he grins. “Thank you, Stiles, you’re awesome.”

“Oh, that’s nothing, really…”

“We’d totally invite you in,” Scott starts, looking a little sheepish. “But we’re still settling in and it’s a mess…”

“Don’t worry about it!” Stiles interrupts. “I’m really here just to say hi, I’ll be going now.”

“We’ll totally invite you over once everything is in its place,” Scott promises and Stiles really needs to go away because otherwise he’s going to drown in the guy’s eyes.

They say their goodbyes and Stiles leaves. On his way home he thinks that while initially he was scared of being eaten by his werewolf neighbors, he totally wouldn’t mind being devoured by these two. Just in a different way.

*******

_[text to: Danny]_ Remember my werewolf neighbors?

 _[Danny]_ What? No. This is the 1st time I’m hearing about this.

 _[Danny]_ It’s not like you’ve been crying on my ass for the past 3 days over some weird werewolf/werebunnies prejudice.  

 _[Danny]_ Did they already bite something of yours?

 _[text to: Danny]_ Har, har. No.

 _[text to: Danny]_ But there’s another problem.

 _[Danny]_ Oh, lord.

 _[text to: Danny]_ They’re a couple. A very hot hot hot hot hot hot hot couple.

 _[Danny]_ I can’t believe you went from utter fear to completely aroused just after one meeting.

 _[Danny]_ Please, don’t do anything stupid.

 _[text to: Danny]_ When did I ever do anything stupid?!

 _[Danny]_ …

 _[Danny]_ You want that in chronological or alphabetical order?

 _[text to: Danny]_ SHUT UP.

 _[Danny]_ No, but really, keep it in your pants. I didn’t raise you to be a homewrecker.

 _[text to: Danny]_ Would it still be homewrecking if I slept with both of them? Simultaneously?

 _[Danny]_ Delete my number.

*******

Two weeks later Stiles gets invited for a dinner over at Scott and Derek’s. He’s mildly stressed, he didn’t expect Scott to actually follow on his promise.

That, and also he doesn’t think his social awkwardness and being completely smitten go well together.

He arrives at 7pm sharp and his hands get impossibly more clammier once he sees the look on Derek’s face. Stiles suspects the guy is just one of the people with a resting bitch face but right now he can’t convince his brain it’s just that and not Derek’s reaction to him. Scott’s welcoming smile eases his anxiety a bit.

“So, what do you do in life?” Scott asks as soon as dinner is served.

“I’m a cop.”

“ _You’re_ a cop?” Derek scoffs, looking at him in disbelief.

Stiles holds Derek’s gaze, feeling as if it were some kind of test. Just because Stiles is not build like a tank and is a werebunny it doesn’t mean he can’t be a cop. What it is they say about not looking a predator right in the eye?

“Yeah,” he answers, voice steady. “Detective Stilinski.”

“You’re named Stiles Stilinski?” and now the judgment shows not only in Derek’s face but also in his voice.

“Stiles is a nickname,” Stiles says, not breaking the eye contact. “My real name is not American.”

“Why go by a nickname though?” Scott chimes in, sensing tension in the air.

Stiles slowly turns his gaze towards Scott:

“When I was learning how to speak I had troubles pronouncing it so I just went by Stiles. I guess it stuck.”

Stiles swears he can feel the exact moment Derek stops looking at him. The burning sensation on the side of his face eases a lot.

“So what’s your real name?” Scott asks eagerly.

“You need to be at least 10 level friend to unlock this information,” he laughs.

“And what level I am now?”

“About 0.5.”

“Well, then I have a lot of work to do to reach level 10,” Scott replies, teasing tone to his voice as he’s beaming at Stiles. Stiles knows he has a matching grin on his face but he quickly schools it down in something less adoring when he remembers that Scott’s freaking boyfriend is sitting right next to them. But when looks at Derek, the man is looking at Scott as well, an expression Stiles can’t decipher on his face.

The rest of the evening goes more smoothly with Scott directing the conversation. Stiles even finds a common ground with Derek, as they bond over films and books Scott is not a fan of. Stiles learns that Scott is a veterinarian and Derek is a translator. They’ve been together for 4 years but known each other for far longer. Their initial interactions weren’t exactly friendly and back then nothing suggested they’d ever become a couple. But over the years everything smoothed out and frequent supernatural troubles brought them closer together. Scott jokes that under the unapproachable exterior Derek is just a big softie and Stiles can see it, especially when Derek blushes and kisses Scott’s hand when the man calls him his “grumpy soulmate.”

When Stiles goes back home late that night he doesn’t know if the empty ache he’s feeling is the realization his little Scott/Stiles/Derek fantasy will forever just be a fantasy or that he will never find anybody who will love him as much as Derek and Scott love each other.

*******

His relationship with Scott quickly progresses into a full-blown friendship. Hanging out with Scott is so simple, everything comes easily and Stiles knows one day he’s going to stop with his little crush and be 100% content with their friendship. They chat regularly and sometimes do groceries together and they even check out the new Indian place on their own because Derek hates spicy food. It’s ridiculous how well they get along, as if they were friends for years and not weeks.

Stiles thinks that perhaps they too are soulmates – just not the love story kind.

With Derek it’s more difficult but Stiles knows he is an acquired taste and he’s not a quitter. He always keeps in mind that Scott and Derek didn’t get along in the beginning. Derek mostly seems exasperated with Stiles and his antics but once Stiles sets his goals he is not easily swayed.

Sure, sometimes Derek gets irritated when he deals with him but Scott’s always there to prevent any trouble. Stiles is intimidated by Derek but that’s fading too, especially when Stiles overhears Derek talking to his potted plants or when he learns that all the delicious pastries Scott stuffs him with when he visits are actually baked by Mr. Scary Eyebrows.

They have their good moments too and they even develop their own “thing” – every time they interact Derek asks Stiles what his real name is, as if the knowledge of it would help Derek unlock some Stiles-shaped mystery. For his part, Stiles always comes up with some ridiculous nicknames. “Level 10, dude!” Scott yells when he overhears them and Derek just rolls his eyes but smiles anyway. Stiles makes sure to never bring any IDs when he visits and he empties his mail box as soon as possible, hiding the letters and documents away when Scott and Derek come over. His progress with Derek is slower but he knows he’ll win him over completely too.

His feeling don’t subdue – they change from simple attraction to something deeper, less superficial. Scott and Derek are different in many ways but Stiles feels drawn to both of them.

But he is 100% sure one day he’ll laugh at himself thinking of the time he had a crush on two of his good friends. It is going to happen, he’ll stop with his stupid, messed up feelings soon.

Any day now.

Just you wait.

*******

During the next full moon Stiles is startled awake by a howl which resonates too close to his home for Stiles’ liking.

At first he’s not sure what woke him up until he hears the howling again. All of his irrational fears over getting eaten by a werewolf come rushing back as he lies in darkness, hand already reaching for a gun lying on his bedside table.

He  knows it’s stupid. It’s like assuming he likes to eat hay just because he is a werebunny. He doesn’t. He’s a were’ and that doesn’t mean his human side is gone when he shifts. So it may be the same with werewolves. Maybe some of them have a liking for bunny meat – but it’s just a personal preference, not a werewolf thing.

 _It’s just a dog_ , Stiles thinks as he tries to relax.

Somebody on the street got themselves a dog, a husky probably – they love to howl. It’s just a howling-loving dog.

 _Just a dog_ , Stiles thinks again as he lies back down, even though his werebunny instincts are telling him to _runrunrunrunrun_.

*******

Stiles gets to work some of his Stilinski charm on Derek when he spots the man getting ready to clean the gutters — which Stiles is fairly certain were never cleaned. Derek’s ladder is too short and kinda wobbly and he’s not wearing protective gloves. Werewolf or not Stiles thinks falling down from that height or getting disgusting stuff on your hands cannot be pleasant.

He grabs his gloves and ladder and heads over. He was meaning to give Derek back a book he’d borrowed from him anyway.

“You suck at this,” Stiles says in lieu of greeting.

Derek doesn’t even flinch because he’s heard him coming over. At least Stiles suspects so, he can’t be sure about werewolf abilities because he’s too chicken to ask Scott or Derek and Danny is feeding him tiny pieces of information at a time.

“And hello to you, too,” Derek replies without stopping his work. “Didn’t know you’re a gutter-cleaning specialist.”

“Har, har, Mister Sassy Wolf,” Stiles says. “I brought you a higher ladder. And a pair of gloves, unless you’d love to get some of the mud and dead bugs under your nails.”

When Derek looks at him Stiles thinks he’s not gonna accept the help just to fuck with Stiles. But he comes down, changes the ladder and even puts on the gloves.

“Happy now?” Derek asks but there’s a teasing tone to his voice. He looks at the book Stiles has with him. “Put that down on the kitchen table and then come back to help me.”

Stiles does as he’s told. His “help” consists of just standing next to the ladder and making small talk with Derek. Not that he’s complaining.

“I’m a born werewolf,” Derek says at one point when the conversation ventures into supernatural territory. “Scott’s bitten.”

“Is there a difference?”

“Yeah… I was born a werewolf, Scott was bitten,” Derek deadpans.

“What it is with you and sass today! I’ll throw your ass down!” Stiles threatens but he’s laughing. He’s happy now that he and Derek reached a stage in their relationship where they can easily joke with and tease each other.

Derek looks down at him but he’s smiling too. A drop of sweat trickles down his forehead and instead of thinking it’s disgusting Stiles thinks Derek looks pretty hot like that and it’s not because of the heat.

“There’s not much difference between born and bittern werewolves. The bitten ones can’t do a full shift and they’re said to have to work on their control more but that’s about it.”

The universe, as if sensing Stiles’ thoughts and wanting to torture him even further, decides to encourage Derek to take off his shirt. Which is precisely what the man does as he finishes explaining. Stiles needs to evacuate.

“What about you?”

“Huh, what?” Stiles startles, too absorbed in admiring the muscles on Derek’s back and the tattoo he has there.

“I asked what about you? You’re born?” he pauses for a bit, clearly not knowing how werebunnies come to be. “Bitten?”

Derek is insanely good at guessing which supernatural creature a person is. He knew what Stiles is straight away. Scott knew he was a were’ but found out for good when he questioned Stiles about a big rabbit in the cop’s backyard.

“Born this way,” Stiles replies. “All of us are. No biting here, no sir,” he adds laughing. How stupid would that be, getting bit by a bunny to be turned. Eating an enhanced carrot, maybe. “Your whole family is werewolves, then?”

“No, but majority is,” Derek answers. “We have humans and other werecreatures, too. Yours?”

“My mum only. And I. My dad is human,” Stiles says. He doesn’t know much of his family. His dad cut off ties with his way before Stiles was born. After his mum’s death the contact with her side of the family ceased as well.

“Where is your family from, anyway?” the werewolf asks. “I mean, the name Stilinski has a foreign ring to it.”

“Yeah, it’s Polish.”

“So your first name is Polish too?” Derek guesses and Stiles can hear satisfaction in his voice. This guy!

“Oh, you sneaky asshole!” Stiles laughs just as Scott is pulling into the driveway. “You think you’re so damn smart!”

“I am,” Derek says and laughs as well. “Come on, just a first letter?”

“Eat ass.”

“Eat ass? All that a whole letter in Polish?” he comes down the ladder and suddenly he’s very close to Stiles. His eyes are tingling and there’s a playful smile on his lips. Stiles doesn’t know what to do, it’s the first time Derek’s done that. This kind of behavior was always directed at Scott. Stiles is dumbstruck, shifting his gaze from Derek’s eyes to his lips. He’s gonna pass out.

“What a lovely sight to come back home to,” Scott’s voice pops their bubble.

Stiles jumps back like a kid caught doing something they weren’t supposed to do. He was, in a sense. The shame of  flirting with Derek in front of his boyfriends burns on Stiles’ cheeks.

“Yeah, dude, clean gutters bring ease to me, too,” Stiles turns his head to admire Derek’s work. “I’m always scared something gross is gonna nest in mine and it will jump on my head when I’ll be leaving.”

“The gutters…” Scott says, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “That’s what I meant…”

“Yeah,” Stiles turns to him but avoids eye contact. “I’m just… My shift’s starting soon, I better go,” he point awkwardly to his house. “Bring back the ladder whenever. Bye,” he finishes and basically runs back home.

He can’t wait until his dumb feelings just die.

*******

Stiles reckons things are going to be painfully awkward for at least a month but when Scott and Derek bring back the ladder and the gloves they act as if nothing happened, which is something Stiles is grateful for.

Scott invites him to his veterinary clinic to hang out and take care of the new-born kittens. Stiles agrees immediately even though he’s scared Scott will use the chance to give him the talk. In the end his fear of rejection is outweighed by his love for cats.

Except “the talk” never comes and Stiles spends wonderful 3 hours with Scott and the kittens.

“How come you guys have no pets?” Stiles asks, petting two kittens at once.

“Well, the building where we lived before didn’t allow pets,” Scott answers feeding one of the litter. “Derek thinks I don’t know it but he has a calendar where he counts down the days until I bring home our first stray,” he adds fondly.

“Oh god, I can totally see why he does that.”

“Oh, right, you two gang up on me, you traitors!” Scott laughs but Stiles’ mind goes to a very different way of ganging up with Derek on Scott. Blissfully, his friend doesn’t seem to notice.

“Why don’t you have a pet?” Scott asks after a moment, leaning close to Stiles to pet the same kitten.

Stiles thinks it’s unnecessary since there are 2 other kittens but maybe this one is Scott’s favorite? Not that he’s complaining about their proximity, Stiles doesn’t mind being pressed this close to Scott.

“I… I don’t know,” he answers truthfully. “Maybe I’m just… Scared? Of commitment?”

“Well, having a pet is a responsibility,” Scott agrees.

“Yeah, but like, it’s stupid of me, to be scared of that. I go to work where I carry a gun with me all the time and sometimes I punch people or chase them or shoot them or I’m the one being shot at and I’m not scared of that,” he makes a frustrated noise in the back of his throat. “But then I think about getting a pet and I’m like »what if I don’t come home from work for days?« or »will my ADD ass remember about vaccinations?«, stuff like that…”

“Lucky for you one of your neighbors is a very hot veterinarian...” Scott muses. His face is so close to Stiles’, all he’d have to do would be to lean a bit to kiss him. Which is definitely something Stiles shouldn’t do. He moves a bit away and for a split second Scott's earnest expression turns into a frown. But it's gone in a blink of an eye so Stiles doesn't dwell on it.

“Also, I’m scared my pet won’t recognize me when I’m shifted and they attack me and I’ll have to live with that shame for the rest of my life.”

Scott bursts out laughing, “I’m sure this won’t happen.”

When they stop giggling Scott starts telling him hilarious/gross stories about his patients. Stiles takes millions of photos and thinks he shot himself in the foot because it feels like he’s falling in love with Scott even more when he was supposed to fall out of it. Damn Scott and his soft heart and optimism, genuine kindness, warm smile and crocked jaw, beautiful eyes, muscular arms, bubbly butt… and Stiles’ mind is in the gutter again.

His life sucks.

*******

Despite Scott and Derek’s lack of caring over the “gutters cleaning incident” Stiles thinks they did notice his massive crush.

(How could they not? It’s the size of the moon.)

(Also, Danny informed Stiles about something called “chemosignals” and Stiles felt utterly betrayed. He revoked Danny’s best friend privileges for 40 seconds after that.)

His suspicions are confirmed on a sunny afternoon when he’s chilling in his backyard. He’s there with his sunglasses on, new book to read and a jug full of lemonade. It’s going super well until Scott comes out to wash Derek’s ridiculously flashy Camaro. It’s a downhill from there.

Scott beams at Stiles from across the yard and waves in greeting. Then he sets down to it. He washes the car, wearing baggy shorts only. There’s foam and water all over his body and Stiles prays the chemosignals don’t carry such a long way. He’s sitting downwind anyway. Also, he is a very skillful at pretending he’s reading his book rather than ogling Scott. His shades cover his eyes anyway.

But then Derek comes out and waves at Stiles. The werebunny pretends he wasn’t looking their way but Derek yells his greeting too and Stiles is forced to react. Approximately 15 seconds later Derek grabs Scott and starts making out with him against the not-yet-washed car and Stiles knows where this is going.

It’s such a clear “we know what you’re thinking. We don’t appreciate it. We’re together and would like to remind you of that” move that Stiles feels as if somebody punched him. He lowers his eyes to his book, not daring to lift his eyes until he hears the door to Scott and Derek’s house shut. Then he shifts and hops to his burrow deep in the groove to spend his night there, wallowing in self-pity and shame.

*******

“They know,” Stiles covers his face with his hands in despair.

“Can you maybe calm down a little?” Danny asks, clearly fed up with his friend’s exaggerated behavior.

“Calm down? I am calm!”

Danny doesn’t reply, just stares at Stiles.

“Or maybe not,” Stiles adds petulantly.

“Listen, I’m gonna state the obvious: you knew they were together.”

“I know.”

“And you kept telling me how sad you were knowing you’ll never be with them.”

“I know.”

“So all I want to say…” Danny starts.

“I know,” Stiles interrupts his best friend. “But it’s one thing knowing this and really knowing this,” he sighs. “Also, I thought… That they were going to talk to me, you know?”

Danny doesn’t say anything, just pulls Stiles against his side and slides Stiles’ favorite cookies closer to him.

“Like… I thought they would go »Stiles we know you like us but it’s not gonna happen,«” he says, popping one in his mouth. “I thought they’d be mature about it. I know my feelings are ridiculous. I do,” he says angrily, grabbing another one. “But I could handle this. I would listen to them and it would help me move the fuck on. Instead I got a possessive fuck off move, presented to me in a high school-level display of affection.” 

“Low blow, I admit, but what can you do,” Danny agrees.

“It’s just… You know how much I wanted this stupid crush of mine to go away, right? I loved being their friend and just sometimes thought about how nice it would be to kiss them. And I know it was stupid and twisted and I wished it would just go away.”

“It will go away.”

“Yeah but now I know they know and I know they don’t want to talk about it but for me to just cut it out. And I can’t tell them that I’m working on it and that I promise not to creep them out because they didn’t ask and they don’t care,” Stiles adds angrily.

Right now it’s not the rejection that stings. He knew it would happen. He hoped they wouldn’t ever find out because he’d be quicker to get over them. It’s the way he’d been rejected that hurts him the most. He didn’t think they’d be cruel.

“You wanna get drunk?” Danny asks, the good friend he is.

Stiles considers it for a bit but decides against it, “No.”

“Wanna line up your whole house with mountain ash?”

Stiles snorts but rejects the idea as well.

“You wanna keep eating the cookies and watch _Zootpia_?”

“Yes.”

So they settle on Stiles’ bed and do precisely that, and Danny holds Stiles all the time and doesn’t comment when Stiles reaches for the tissues.

*******

Stiles tries to cut down on his contact with Scott and Derek for a while, citing work as the source of his busyness.

(He’s only lying partially. A big illegal guns deal is said to be happening soon and the whole station is working on how to bust that thing.)

Another blow comes in a way that Stiles didn’t anticipate a bit. It’s ridiculous and he doesn’t think about it a lot at first.

Scott starts planting flowers and other plants all over their backyard. It’s nothing at first, until he starts planting bushes all along the low fence dividing their and Stiles’ lots. It’s the kind that grows thick and high real fast and it’s when Stiles sees them it clicks in his head. It’s as if Scott is building his and Derek’s defense wall. Anybody else would think he’s just stepping up his garden game but Stiles knows better.

Sometimes when he shifts he doesn’t go all the way to the groove but stays in his backyard. He lounges around in the sun, like a cat, a moves when the sunbeams shift and at times he makes it as far as Scott and Derek’s backyard (there’s a whole near the end of the fence just the right size for Stiles to slip through). They know about it because Derek commented on it and Scott blurted out that he took a picture once. But now with all the new plants in the way it’s not going to be possible, unless Stiles tramples them or bites through the thick bush. Which, he thinks, neither Scott nor Derek would appreciate.

Message, once again, received.

*******

The worst part about the whole ordeal is that Derek and Scott seem to still be very friendly with Stiles whenever they see him (although he avoids them as much as he can).

He’s at a grocery store when he spots them. He prays in front of the spices shelf that they don’t come down his aisle.

“Hi, Stiles,” he hears Scott’s happy voice from his right.

His luck is shit and the universe hates him.

“Hi,” he replies, studying the wall trying to find smoked paprika.

“Please tell me you’re not stocking up on parsley again. It’s so gross,” Scott jokes, oblivious to Stiles’ attempt at cutting the conversation short.

Just because he feels petulant Stiles slowly moves to grab a package of parsley even though he doesn’t need it.

He is a mature person but… not right now.  

“Is everything ok?” he hears Derek. The man is trying to get his attention and Stiles is forced to turn away from the shelf and look their way.

“I’m stressed,” he says evasively. Danny told him that werewolves can hear people’s hearts skip when they lie so he’s trying to avoid that. Thankfully, he’s master of half-truths and white lies.

“No shit,” Derek scoffs.

“Is this work-related? You’ve been so busy lately,” Scott asks, voice heavy with concern. Stiles wants to cry.

“There’s this case… That I can’t discuss with you and it’s hard,” he replies. Where are the teleporting powers when you need them?

“Is this why there’s been more police patrols all over the town?” Derek questions with a frown.

“How do you know that?” Stiles asks, now suspicious. There is more police patrols but they all are using unmarked cars.

Derek just rolls his eyes: “Werewolf, remember?” he points to himself and smiles a bit, “That and I’m super observant.”

“Listen, we’re know you’re busy but if you find even a bit of time, we’d love to have you over for dinner,” Scott interjects, touching Stiles arm gently. His face is so open and eager and Stiles is approximately 3 seconds away from breaking down.

“I… yeah, sure, yes. I’ll try,” he stammers.

The ground betrays him by not opening up and swallowing him whole.

*******

As soon as Stiles wakes he knows something’s not right. He’d been spending nights in his burrow because being here is easier than being at home where Scott or Derek can come down knocking on his door any time.

He slowly makes his way up, keeping an eye out. One time, when he was still a teenager, he got attacked by a fox which sniffed him out. That was the single fastest shift of his life. He still has a scar on his back from the fox’s teeth. Since then he’s been very careful.

He’s almost all the way out when he spots him.

Derek – now in his wolf form – is lying to the left of the burrow. He’s huge, bigger than an average wolf (or so Stiles thinks) with deep black fur that looks soft to touch. Stiles almost shits himself when he notices him because it takes him a whole 5 seconds before he recognizes the smell. His werebunny instincts make him hop back and hide immediately.

Stiles contemplates getting out there again and pooping under Derek’s nose, just to teach him a lesson about sneaking, stalking and privacy.

After a few minutes he hears Derek get up and pace around the burrow. No, Stiles is not coming out. Derek seems to get the idea because Stiles hears the pounding of his paws recede as he runs back in the direction of home.

But something still isn’t right. He gets out and his sense of smell is hit with a foul odor. Stiles shifts because his sense of smell as human is weaker. He still gags. After circling the entrance to the burrow he finds the source.

In that moment Stiles deeply regrets his decision not to poop under Derek’s nose. Because Derek… just peed all over the other side of his burrow.

That, Stiles decides, is a declaration of war.

*******

When he tells Danny about what had happened his best friend laughs for 2 minutes and then suggests Stiles should trash Derek and Scott’s new garden. Stiles doesn’t appreciate the joke.

“He invaded my space!” he snarls over the phone. “I get the rejection but that’s way too much. I got the message already!”

“I admit I know nothing about peeing practices among werecreatures.”

“It’s as if somebody peed on your front door!”

“That’s fucked up.”

“If he wanted to split up the territory or whatever he could’ve done that a few feet away instead on top of my burrow.”

 _Besides_ , Stiles thinks, _doesn’t Derek and his family have insane amount of ground to roam, just on the other side of the town? Why he has to be so greedy?_

“Maybe I should talk to alpha Hale? She could… tell him something?” Danny offers.

“Lord, no, don’t get his mother involved. I have enough of embarrassment in my life.”

*******

Stiles is still fuming when he’s patrolling the streets later that day with Jordan. They’re looking out for any suspicious activity. Parrish spots a car parked on a clearing hidden away from the road by just a few trees. It’s nothing, it’s too obvious for it to be an arms dealer car but they have to check it out anyway. It’s probably some dumb kids getting hot and bothered in a car.

As soon as Jordan turns the car around and heads for the clearing Stiles knows his day is about to get even shittier. Because he recognizes the car.

It’s Scott and Derek’s Toyota.

But it’s too late now that Jordan spotted it. And while he knows a thing or two about Stiles’ stupid crush, Stiles can’t exactly tell him to turn around because he’s not in the mood to interrupt his neighbors/crushes car sex.

He decides to power though it and gets out of the car with Jordan. Parrish is smirking because he knows what’s going on inside. He knocks on the car window and tells the “passengers” to get their bearings and get out.

Scott and Derek step out of the car looking disheveled. Scott has decency to look a bit embarrassed but Derek is looking straight at Stiles with a cocky smile on his face. That’s how Stiles knows they wanted to get caught and hoped it’ll be Stiles to catch them. He’s blood is boiling.

“Is there a problem?” Derek asks, ignoring Jordan and instead looking straight at Stiles.

Jordan looks between them and it clicks for him. Stiles babbles about his dumb crush any time he has chance, including his patrols with Jordan. His eyes widen but his voice remains unchanged:

“Well, gentlemen, it is generally advised to keep intimate matters a little bit more private than this.”

“We thought we were being private,” Scott replies, trying to sound innocent.

Stiles wonders when he’ll stop being the butt of their joke.

“Not if you can be spotted all the way from the road,” Stiles says, voice devoid of any emotion. He is just so done.

“But…” Scott starts.

“And tainted windows don’t cut it,” Stiles adds. Something about his face must tip both Scott and Derek off because they look at each other.

“Stiles…” Derek says, once again ignoring Jordan and turning to him.

“It’s detective Stilinski,” Stiles snaps. He regrets it as soon as he says it. He hoped he would keep his cool. The couple’s shocked faces make him feel bad about it too. But he shouldn’t feel sorry for them. He is angry. He is so furious with them.

“Listen, we’re going to give you just a warning but please, next time keep in mind that public indecency is an offense, all right boys?” Jordan quickly jumps in before the situation can escalate. "Now drive back home, all right?"

“Yes, sir,” they answer in unison.

Stiles doesn’t look back at them as he gets in the car.  

*******

The next morning there’s a basket filled with home-baked goods and sweets on Stiles’ porch. The note attached to it reads: _“We’re sorry – D &S”_

Stiles sends the picture of it to Danny.

 _[text to: Danny]_ You think it’s hexed?

 _[Danny]_ At least they’re trying to apologize.

Stiles curses under his breath because of course Danny has to be the reasonable one.

Regardless of Scott and Derek’s intentions, Stiles decides that an apology basket is not going to cut it. He takes it with him to work opting for putting on a passive-aggressive front and not eating anything out of it. His co-workers will save the food from going to waste.

*******

For the next 24 hours the work is such a nightmare that he almost forgets about Derek and Scott. He spends the night at the station because they’re close to cracking the gun deal and he can’t afford to waste his time on commute.

The basket — which sits on the table in cafeteria — grates on his nerves. Every time he sees it he becomes even more determined to solve the case. It comes to an end during his 22nd hour-mark of being away from home. Despite his exhaustion he breezes through the tactical action with ease, mind clear and reflexes quick. They shut the whole thing down successfully, no casualties.

He comes home dead tired but happy to have solved the case. His mood sours when he sees another basket on his porch.

 _Why not kill two birds with one stone_ , he thinks turning in the direction of Scott and Derek’s house. Things went well at work, it’s good to ride that successful wave till the end and get this mess over with as well. He’s going to hear an official rejection and apology for being mocked (hopefully) and he’s going to promise to get over his feelings. There’s no room in him for a fight, he’s too hurt for that.

Scott is the one to open the door when Stiles knocks. He doesn’t seem surprised but rather as if he was expecting him. He has an earnest look on his face and Stiles wishes he could fast forward the time so all this is over.

He’s about to ask if Derek’s home too when the other man comes up behind Scott.

“We need to talk,” he settles on instead.

The couple lets him in and they all sit at the kitchen table. The same one they had their first dinner together. Stiles would laugh at the irony if he had energy to do so.

“Listen…” he starts.

“We’re sorry,” Scott blurts out at the same moment.

Stiles makes a “continue” gesture at him. He knows he ought to apologize as well, for his feelings, fantasies, delusions but he’ll wait his turn.

“We’re sorry,” Derek repeats. “We were out of line.”

“We never wanted to insult you. We went about it the wrong way,” Scott adds.

“You think?” Stiles snarks but the hurt look on the couple’s faces doesn’t bring him any satisfaction.

“We made wrong assumptions and acted out on them. We know you don’t want this, with us, but…” Scott’s voice breaks a little. “Can we still be friends? We promise we won’t do anything like that again.”

Stiles fights back a sob. This is what he wants too. He opens his mouth to says so when something clicks in his brain.

“I don’t… What?” he asks, trying to get his thoughts together. “I don’t want what now with you?”

Scott and Derek exchange looks. What the hell is Scott talking about?

“Stiles…” Derek says in a low voice. “You’re angry with us, right?”

When Stiles nods his head, he continues:

“I know this might sound inconsiderate… But why are you angry with us?”

Stiles blood boils:

“Why am I angry with you?!” he seethes. “How about because when you find out about my stupid crush instead of rejecting me like normal people would, you decide to put on all kinds of shitty antics to show it!” he snarls. “And I understand my feelings aren’t reciprocated and I am sorry for having them, I truly am, but another person’s feelings – no matter how unwanted – are not the reason to mock them!”

“Mock you…?” Scott asks incredulously.

Stiles wonders about everything that’s happened and how it looked to him:

“Yeah, with the sudden overeager displays of affection and the fucking gardening defense wall and you,” he points at Derek. “Peeing on my burrow, trying to make me leave my territory!”

“You peed on his burrow?!” Scott gawks.

“I… might have?” Derek stammers out, his face going all red. 

Scott breaks down laughing and Stiles can’t believe they find this hilarious. Was all of this a rouse to ridicule him even more?

“Oh, fuck you,” he growls and gets up to leave.

Scott pulls him down by his arm:

“We were trying to court you,” he blurts. “Flirt with you… Hit on you, whatever you call this.”

“You were what now?” Stiles can’t believe what he’s hearing.

“We like you,” Derek interjects. “As more than a friend.”

“What,” Stiles repeats, voice flat.

“We messed up. We messed up so bad,” Scott says, sagging in his seat. “The overeager PDA? We thought you’d get a hint that we’re interested the same way you are. Because you are, right? You like us?” he asks, voice full of hope.

“I do,” Stiles answers dumbfounded, although the words roll off his tongue easily.

“And the garden… I thought if I plant all these you’d be hanging out there more? Instead of going all over to the groove you’d just hop few yards and…” he finishes lamely.

“And I didn’t…” Derek adds, pausing for a moment. His face is still very red. “Pee on your burrow to make you leave. I was trying… To let you know that I’d love to share all this space with you.”

“By peeing on his burrow?” Scott asks, skeptical. “What were you thinking?!”

“I wasn’t! Sometimes when I spend hours in the wolf form I get a little lost, my instincts take over!”

Scott is now full-on laughing. Stiles would too but he is still too shocked to even react. They weren’t mocking him? Rejecting him? Is this real or did Stiles pass out from exhaustion and he’s having a very pleasant dream?

“Stiles, listen,” Scott grabs his hand. Stiles watches as Scott rubs his thumb on the back of his palm. This feels very real and non-dream-like at all. “We talked about this, Derek and I. We like you. As more than just a friend.”

“And it’s not a threesome thing,” Derek adds quickly. “It’s a relationship thing.”

“We want to give it a try… If you want it too,” Scott finishes.

Stiles blinks back tears.

“Stiles?” Derek asks tentatively.

“Which one of you do I kiss first?” he replies.

*******

Stiles spends the night but they don’t have sex. In fact, as soon as Stiles’ head hits the pillow he falls asleep and doesn’t register when Scott and Derek join him. He wakes up the next day as Derek drops a kiss on his forehead.

“I’ll just brew us some coffee,” he whispers.

Stiles feels well-rested. He tip-toes out of bed, loathing to leave Scott in it but also wanting to get some of that deliciously-smelling coffee before it’s gone. Although he does spend 5 minutes staring at Scott’s peaceful face. God, he’s so beautiful.

“Is that the strays’ calendar?” he asks, spotting Derek in his study as the werewolf marks something off on a calendar.

“How do you know about this? Scott doesn’t even…” he stops mid-sentence. “Of course Scott knows.”

Stiles just laughs softly, turning the pages. All days since the move-in day are marked with an X. But there’s a date in the first week that, despite being x-marked, is also circled in red.

He’s about to ask about it when Scott enters the room, still half-asleep. He wraps his arms around Stiles.

“Why there’s no coffee?” Scott asks and yawns.

“There’s some in the kitchen,” Derek says, kissing him softly. Stiles is happy to find out that he’s as content to watch them kiss as he’d been before.

“But we’re not in the kitchen,” Scott remarks and seems to wake up a bit more when he spots the calendar. “Oh, finally, in all its glory!”

He flips through the pages just like Stiles did and frowns when he sees the double-marked date:

“I didn’t bring any stray home then!”

“No, you didn’t” Derek confirms. “But a stray rabbit hopped on our front porch with a batch of blueberry muffins in hand. And it looks like he’s gonna stay for a long time,” he adds with a wink, walking to kitchen.

Scott kisses Stiles’ outraged squawk off his lips.

But it’s true.

He’s going to stay for a very long time.

**/The end.**

**Author's Note:**

> The most incredible part about this story is that Stiles, single and in his 20s, is able to afford a house on a cop salary. #millennialdreams


End file.
